When I want to sleep...

I just sat on the edge of my bed and this big ominous 'crack' splits the air. I'm concerned. I only weigh 120 pounds. I shouldn't be able to break a bed. Yes, I spent $30 dollars on the thing. No, it's not actually a bed. 

But I take a look with my handy dandy [new] iPhone flashlight and sure enough, the screws are misaligned and the nuts and bolts are scattered on the floor. 

So I slip underneath the bed mechanic-style and put things back together so I can sleep without worrying about crashing to the floor in the middle of the night. But let me tell you. Not moving that bed to vacuum in almost a year? Yeah, shit's nasty.